8 years ago today, I was sitting in my living room, my contractions were getting stronger and closer together, and I decided it was time to...first get burger king, get a babysiter for Tanna, and then yes go to the Hospital..
After, a long afternoon of contractions, but no progress they decided to break my water. Kylie's heartrate started to get higher and higher, and soon was at a dangerous level... I remember, Bobbie, the mid-wife, saying "we are going to have to take her via c-section." I immediately paniced, and responded "no, I am not going to have a c-section! She's going to be fine." I remember the fear that came over me at that point. I had no idea what was happening especially when Bobby responded with "Honey, I know your scared, but if we don't do a c-section, she is not going to make it."
Without hesitation, I said, then let's do this. Tears running down my face, and uneasiness in my heart at what was about to happen, was just the begining of this journey of Kylie's first month. The c-section began, with Shawn holding my hand on one side, and Bobbie holding my other hand, both praying with me through the whole thing. The Lord is faithful. Kylie was born, she cried, and she appeared to be ok, beautiful, with a full head of hair.
We proceeded then to the recovery room, where I was completely numb from the medication. Rod and Ellen (Shawn's Dad and Step-mom),as well as, KC and Rita (Shawn's Brother and Sister and law) and a few of our youth group kids, and close friend's Chris and Kehla had come. Each of them holding our precious Kylie. Everything seemed fine. I held her for just a breif moment, when the nurse came in and took her to the nursery to do her tests etc.
After a while, they were wheeling me back to my room, and as we were passing the nursery I noticed a lot of doctors around a baby. I half jokingly and nervously asked the nurse that's not my baby is it? She wasn't sure, so she went to check. She came back, and said "Yes, I am afraid it is." My heart dropped, tears welled up in my eyes, and nervously asked "is she ok?" her response is "we don't know, she is having difficulty breathing, we are not sure she is going to make it."
What! My little girl was just fine moments ago! What is happening? I immediately begin to cry, and pray. God is faithful!
Soon, they wheeled my little girl into my room, her hair shaved off in a horrible shape of a mohawk, tubes in her head, nose, and chest, surrounded in this incubater of a crib. They told me to say good bye to her, as they had to take her to the Children's Hospital, as they still had no answers of what was wrong with her, why she was having trouble breathing, and whether or not she would live. (Praise God, the best Children's Hospital around was just across the street from where I delievered) So, I said my good-bye's tearfully and prayed as they wheeled her out the door and to the ambulance.
It was a long night of sobbing and very little sleep. I layed there in my bed, asking God, why? what is happening, not knowing whether my baby girl was going to live, and he gave me this verse: Psalm 139:13-14 (NIV)
For you created my inmost being;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
your works are wonderful,
I know that full well.
I prayed... God is faithful!
The next 24 hours were very difficult. Between recovery of the c-section, my baby in the Hospital across the street in severe condition with no answers of what is going on, and really being alone through most of this, as family and friends, spent their time down there with her, and I was stuck in the hospital room, alone... yet God is faithful! He carried me through, and gave me a peace, that I could not ever explain - even in my fear, doubt, and sadness.
The hospital released me the next evening as I was recovering fine, and they knew how much I longed to be by my daughters side.
It was 2 days of no answers. 2 days of not knowing whether she was going to live, 2 days of heart-wrenching sadness, 2 days of fear everytime the phone rang of whether on not this was THE call... God is faithful!
Kylie's lungs would not inflate on their own, and the doctors could not figure out why. They were about to send her file to John S. Hopkin's University for a case study, when they discovered the answer... Her little body did not produce enough surfactan(which is a substance that keeps the lungs inflate. Kylie had premie lungs in a full term body.
We finally had an answer! God is faithful! Kylie spent the next 8 days in the NICU as they gave her all sorts of medicine's, she had all sorts of tubes in her body, and God worked on her little body.
At about a week old, they removed her breathing tube. She was breathing on her own! God is faithful. That day I got to hold her for the first time since I held her when she was born... Joy filled my heart. We left the hospital, and about 5 minutes after getting home, the phone rang... They had to replace the breathing tube. Her breathing was sparatic, and again, they had no answers, just more tests to run.
Again, another night of questions... yet God is faithful! When they removed the breathing tube, they scratched her lungs, which caused breathing to be difficult for her. They gave her antibiotics, and the scratch healed. It was time to remove the breathing tubes again... This time, they would do it surgically with a scope to see if anything else was going on.
We sat in the waiting room as she had this procedure done, and prayed... God is faithful. She came out successfully and breathing on her own. She stayed in NICU for another day or so, to make sure she was eating ok, and no other issues came up.
Kylie came home! Praise God, HE IS FAITHFUL!
Kylie's journey through her first 10 days taught us so much. We were challenged quite a bit. What if she didn't make it? Would we still be faithful? We had to let her go, and let God do what He does best. We had to commit her to Him. We learned very quickly that His plans are greater then ours. He is faithful!
Today, Kylie is 8 years old. Kylie is perfectly healthy! Today she has no breathing issues, no health issues, and stands before us as our unique, beautiful young girl. Today we hold just the memories of those first weeks of her life, and she has just two little tiny bumps of scars... God is FAITHFUL!
Kylie, is a blessing, a miricle, and has taught us so much. Each day is a treasure. We love you so much Kylie!
God is faithful!